Is happiness your responsibility? It’s the kind of question that most of us sit around contemplating. In the world view that most of us grew up with happiness just happens, and mostly as the result of our acquiring or achieving something.
Acquiring or achieving something is conditional happiness, but real happiness, like true love is unconditional. And like love its unconditional happiness that we really desire.
Unconditional happiness arises from within and that means that no one else besides us is responsible for our happiness.
The question is, “If I’m responsible for my own happiness how and what do I change to experience the happiness I long for?” This question is one that Iris Barzen “woke up to” and confronted.
She realized that she had been in her words “chasing happiness,” in other words looking for it “out there.” She was chasing after conditional happiness and it wasn’t working out all that well for her.
But it’s better told in her words, so here’s Iris…
During one of those silent moments I had a huge realization: we are responsible for our own happiness. It’s nobody’s job to make us happy or create the life we want for us. There’s nobody else we can blame, not our parents, not society and not that guy who broke our heart in 8th grade. It’s our own responsibility to make sure that our life is worth living. It’s our responsibility to take care of our happiness.
I had never experienced such clarity before….
After the initial moment of clarity, I had mostly focused on the gap between the life I was living and the life I wanted to live. I had been trying to close that gap as fast as possible. I believed that reaching my dreams was the only thing that could bring me happiness. I thought that after I had achieved what I wanted, I would finally be allowed to stop and breathe and enjoy the moment.
I was chasing happiness. And that’s not a very smart thing to do.
Happiness is always there with us in the moment. We just have to make the shift and choose to see it. When you’re at the very beginning of the journey to creating a life you love, things can get overwhelming pretty quickly. Once you’ve taken responsibility for your life it’s easy to start blaming yourself. We beat ourselves up and try to force ourselves to work harder, because we feel like a failure the minute we stop and look around.
But what is the purpose of this kind of lifestyle? Why did we choose to live our dreams in the first place? Because we wanted to be happy. But being happy doesn’t come from the things we achieve or how far we’ve come. It comes from being present and enjoying the journey.
If you think about it, why should you be more able to experience happiness once you’ve reached your goals? If all you’ve ever done was push yourself harder to succeed, it will be almost impossible to be still and worship the moment. If you can’t appreciate the journey, then you won’t appreciate your successes either.
After I had understood this missing piece of wisdom I made happiness my #1 priority. I’m now trying to see life as one big experiment on happiness. Sure, I’m still working really hard towards my dreams. But I’m not losing myself in the process anymore. I’ve learned to appreciate what I have now while I’m reaching for my dreams.
You can choose to be happy. This is the point, one that’s very apparent to me now, as I travel this path. Everyone has the right to happiness, and the ability to realize it is within the grasp of everyone. Continue reading here…
Happiness is a state of mind that at its essence is independent from the outside world. The interesting thing is that when you choose to be happy for no reason, then things you desired and believed would make you happy, very often, flow into your life.
Is happiness your responsibility? Today would be a perfect time to answer that question.