Your subconscious thinking can sabotage your happiness without your even realizing it. Here’s the top ten saboteurs that could be keeping you from living your best life ever!
1. Worrying about the future and not being grateful for all that you’ve already accomplished.
This is a recipe for emotional disaster and dramatically increases your chances of losing on your dreams. Focusing on the things you have accomplished so far—the weight you lost, the experiences you’ve had or the money you made—you’ll have a broader perspective, a larger world view of where you are now and you won’t feel so powerless when looking ahead.
2. Your mind believes that your happiness is “out there” somewhere instead of being within you.
Your mind is telling you it’s normal for others to be happy because they are “better off” than you are, meaning they appear to be making more money, have a better job or seem to have great relationships. Yet, we all know people who don’t have all that and are still happy and others who seemed to have it all, and yet it turns out their lives are a mess – think Hollywood!
Happiness is something that can only be found within even when external circumstances are encouraging it; it’s still not something exterior. It’s a feeling that you can experience anytime you choose. Next time your mind tries to convince you that you need “something” in order to be happy; ask yourself, “Is what I’m saying to myself really true?”
3. Your ego is always looking for the other shoe to drop instead of living on the sunny side of the street.
This is the spiritual and psychological principal “Where your attention goes your energy flows.” This is the confirmation bias at work. If you want to create more good things to flow into your life, then put your attention on that, and think less about the negative.
4. Your mind (ego) see giving as a loss not as the gift you actually receive.
People who are generous are more successful than those who hoard. Those who strive to rise to the “top” on the backs of others will in the end find themselves at the bottom of the heap. This isn’t pie in the sky, wishful thinking; recent research backs up those statements.
Giving is one of the fastest and most effective ways to achieve happiness; contrary to your ego’s chatter.
5. Your mind believes that your happiness is always just around the corner.
Like a carrot on a string the ego-mind has you convinced that you’ll be happy “when.” When you get the new car, job, house or hot girlfriend/boyfriend!
You’re always waiting on happiness. This is a habit and an illusion of the mind. This is a mind trap because by the time you achieve or get whatever you think will make you happy, your minds moved on to the next thing you don’t have and you are right back where you started, feeling anxious and unfulfilled.
Maybe you will be happy momentarily when you reach your goal. But why wait? You can be happy now; you don’t have to wait no matter what that little voice in your head is trying to convince you to believe.
6. Everything needs to be perfect before you can rest and be happy.
This one is powerful. Your mind convinces you that you won’t be liked if you make a mistake. Perfectionism is closely allied with the need for approval, that is, needing to prove yourself. The question you need to ask yourselves is “what is it that you need to prove?”
7. Your mind allow you to rationalize negative behavior.
There’s a term used in psychology and economics, “cognitive dissonance,” which is when you’re conflicted. When your values are not aligned with your actions. The common example of this behavior is when you lie. You know that lying is wrong but you don’t believe that you’re a bad person; that’s cognitive dissonance or rationalization.
As long as you do this real happiness will be elusive, but the ego-mind continues to provide you with rationalizations. Awareness is the key to releasing this habitual behavior.
8. “I’m not good enough.” The mind makes you a victim.
This mind game was programmed in early in your childhood and its one all of us have to one degree or another, and must dealt with if you want to experience real happiness; no matter what your mind says.
You can start by giving yourself permission to be “good enough” just as you are right now. Stop judging yourself, especially against others and simply choose to be a better person today than you were yesterday.
9. You believe that you need the approval of others.
This stems from conditional happiness, that is, the belief that happiness is out there somewhere.
In this case the “out there” is someone(s) else. This is why you can get stuck in toxic relationships; because you’re seeking approval. Yet, no one, can make you happy (or unhappy for that matter) it always originates within you, but your mind trick you into believing that if you can just get “their” blessing you’ll be happy.
Because the ego mind is fear based it tells you that if you leave this relationship that you will lose yourself. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
10. If it can’t happen right now it can never happen, or the related mind game, it’s too overwhelming.
If the mind can’t figure everything out right now it slips into overwhelm. “How will I ever build that business, I need capital, I need connections, heck I need a better car.” The mind is wonderful at creating problems that it has no immediate solution to.
The “solution” to all of these challenges is the same; awareness, presence and creating space so that you can see these thoughts for what they are, conditioned habitual patterns.
This doesn’t mean that they are going to magically disappear, but with awareness and practice (like mindfulness and other forms of meditation) these saboteurs will wield less and less power over the real you!